Okay, I found this rag tag, dirty, part-of-it-missing, I was almost-afraid-to-touch-it, book at a flea market recently. I was hesitant because of the grime, but the 25 cent price tag lured me into looking at it. Then the first page (actually the fourth page, because the first part of the book is missing) grabbed my attention. Its title, "How To Cook A Husband," made the book too juicy to pass up. The entire effort is a cookbook, no doubt a twentieth century fund-raising attempt. Although I do not know the date of this particular book, I ran the text of "How To Cook Your Husband," on a search engine. No luck with any author, but it dates back to at least 1895, so I am safe in reproducing it here. If any "Dear reader" happens to have more information about it, please feel free to share. Pat Earnest 11 June 2015

                                                           How To Cook a Husband

    A good many husbands are utterly spoiled by mismanagement. Some women go about it as if their husbands were balloons. But blow them up. Others keep them constantly in hot water, others let them freeze by indifference and carelessness. Some keep them in a pickle all their lives. Some keep them in a stew by irritating ways and words. Others roast them. It cannot be supposed that any husband will be tender and good if managed in this way, but they are really delicious when properly treated.

     In selecting a husband, do not go to market for him, as the best are always brought to your door. It is far better to have none, unless you patiently learn how to govern him. See that the linen in which you wrap him is properly washed and mended with the required number of buttons and strings tightly sewed on. 

     Tie him in the kettle by a silk cord called "Comfort", as the one called "Duty" is apt to be too weak. They are apt to fall out of the kettle and to be burned and crusty on the edges, since, like crab and lobsters you have to cook them while alive.

     If he sputters and fusses, do not be anxious -- some husbands do this until they are cooled down. Add a little sugar in the form of which confectioners call "Kisses" but no vinegar or pepper on any account. A little spice improves them, but it must be used with judgement. 

     Do not stick any sharp instruments into him to see if he is becoming tender. Stir him gently, watching awile [sic], less he adhere to the kettle and so become useless. You cannot fail to know when he is done.

     If this treatment is closely followed you will find him all that is desireable, but do not keep him in a too cool a place. The end.

Author HistoryKeeper, currently lives in Dover, Delaware, with family, both two- and four-footed. I am a published author and history enthusiast, who has great regard for the past and is especially proud of the Pennsylvania German culture. In addition to Passed Time, I am currently working on a project for the German Historical Institutes Immigrant Entrepreneurship: German-American Business Biographies (http://www.ghi-dc.org). I also contribute to various newsletters and I am working on another book...or two. Feel free to email me at pcsuter@passedtime.com for questions, comments, information, a shared love of history, an idea, or just because you want to share on Passed Time, but are too shy about getting started. Be aware, Files with Attachments will not be opened, but immediately deleted.